Pre-Vday

So Monday is Valentine's Day. Or as I like to call it, Singles Awareness Day. I'll save my ranting for then lol Please post your thoughts about this day if you want, I'd love to read them :)

Update numero uno

As I look back on the last few days, weeks, month, I feel nothing. The guy that I like is still unavailable and even though that's my excuse for why I shouldn't like him, it's really just a cover up for the truth: he will never like me. And that may seem mopey, but it is in fact very true. So I can only keep being his friend and communicating to him soley through text message. Beyond that, there is apparently a boy that does like me. And I told my crush about him. Saying that since he's the only boy that likes me it wouldn't hurt to get to know him, that maybe I WILL start to like this boy that for some reason or another likes me. And he told me I shouldn't do that to myself. Yes, he is right, I SHOULDN'T do that to myself, but what else can I do? I guess I could just stay single til college, but how can I get a guy in college? There's no down time before school, no lunch period, time to talk in class, etc.... so maybe I'll just be a cat lady lol, or a dog lady since dogs have the decency to cuddle and protect their owners.

I have been grounded for a very long time now lol.. And soooo much has happened! I'll explain everything in my next post. It may be my longest one yet :)

Be Still My Beating Heart

Meaning: Expression of excitement when seeing the object of one's romantic affections.


Oh, what a phrase.


I've liked this boy for some time now and we used to have a class together during the first semester. Well, we've just started texting each other again and as I was sitting in second period the text conversation takes a sudden turn:


him: you're such a kiss up! lol
me: haha only to you ;)
him: you wish lol
me: whatever :)
him: I know why
me: why what?
(at this point I'm freaking out on the inside hoping he doesn't realize my crush)
him: you're a kiss up lol
me: and how, sir gage, am I a kiss up?
him: because, you have a crush

At that point I tried to deny it but he told me that he doesn't mind and that it made him feel better knowing that someone liked him. The only problem with liking him is that he's been dating the same girl for two years. And I even told him that I refuse to crush on him while he has a girlfriend and everything. But now he's been flirting more than usual and giving mixed messages and i'm veryyyyyyyy confused. More to come later.

I Love My Best Friend

Here's a convo we just had:

Her: OMG!!!!

Me: WHAT????

Her: I'm so upset, I just had a mini panic attack again!

Me: Are you ok???

Her: yeah... I'm going to go downstairs and drown my feelings in icecream

Me: Okay, just remember Caitlin, icecream makes you FAT hahahaha :p

Her: And then ill get so fat I die! But I'll die happy! With a huge smile on my face :DDDDD lol bye!

School Again

First day back at school. Sigh... love my friends dearly, but there's a certain girl in my group of friends that makes everyone mad. She thinks she's the hottest thing ever and CONSTANTLY talks about her boobs. Like seriously, she thinks they're a gift from God. But whatever.

She also today told me that she doesnt like the word nerd and therefore we cannot call anyone a nerd. First of all, there ARE nerdy people. Secound of all, SHE is a nerdy bookworm. But she got sooo mad when I told her she was a nerdy bookworm, it was like I'd insulted her or something. I can proudly call myself a nerd though and don't see anything insulting about it at all.

Anyways, so I also bought new shoes this past weekend. Wore them to school today and regretted it after maybe thirty minutes. I'm a Counseling Aide during first period class and was running about thirty ID cards to various classes across my school. And I don't have a small school either, it's a six minute fast walk from one end to the other, AND its 2 (technically 4) stories tall. So I was walking passes around and my new shoes tore a huge wound into the back of my heels, and then rubbed the skin raw on my pinky toes....I had to endure 8 class periods before I could head home. My feet are STILL throbbing in pain :(

More to come later, I need to go do some AP Government homework.

Daydreaming

So I'm laying in bed listening to music and not really thinking about anything.... Just daydreaming about stuff. I daydream a lot I guess. About things that I wish I couldve done different, about things that I wish would happen--but usually don't. It's never really make believe-fantasy dreams, they always have a touch of reality to them. Which makes me sad because there are a ton of things that I wish wouldve happened and seem so nice in my dreams... I guess I should go to sleep, I have to be up bright and early for school tomorrow (ick!)